that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
