I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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