the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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