even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
