I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
