Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
