I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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