Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
