watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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