Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
