i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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