Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
