Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
