At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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