i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
