he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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