Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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