question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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