imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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