Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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