I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This baby is an asshole
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
