i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
