Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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