remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize