marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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