he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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