I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize