I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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