Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
