My friends, they love my intelligence
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
