so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
