You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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