Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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