try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
