So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
