come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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