then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
