he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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