Your tits are I can't wait for
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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