I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize