A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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