A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Randomize
