What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
