i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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