I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
