I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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