Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
