i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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