I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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