dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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