Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
