i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
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Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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