Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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