no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
