Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm really busy with my period
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