My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But theres a keg here and me gusta
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
