I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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