I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
