Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
