I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
