Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
True strength comes from lack of pants
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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